“Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.”
Somebody asked me about my childhood dreams lately. “Wooooooow, where to start?” I thought immediately.
I have had so many of them. And still, I do dream abundantly.
But the ones of my childhood… pfff, it is hard for me to feel the difference between my dreams and my wishes back then.
In The Netherlands, in the late 70’s, we had this youth series about a mother and a father with 4 kids. They did lots of fun stuff all the time: singing, theatre, going on ab fab holidays. They were these hippie parents with free-spirited kiddos. I always dreamed I was their 5th son, the prodigal one. It was a secret wish, of course, but I day-dreamed my ass off and also in my bed they were the topic of many fantasies. I dreamed that on some sunny day the front doorbell would ring, my mother would open the door and there would be these hippie parent actors who came to collect me. And that I would say “Hi” to my mom and dad and simply would go away to lead this fabulous Pippi Longstockings life (undoubtedly the boy variant) with my new family.
As a boy, I had this period of pushing away my masculine side to please my mother. So, in daily life, I tried to be as feminine as I could. In this period, as a boy, my dreams were very manly, over the top manly. As if I had to make up in the night for what I had been pushing away during daytime. My dreams were James Bond-movies. I fought, ran, flew, had this excellent leadership impact on everyone I met in my dreams. I dreamed about sex with a whole range of Bond girls. I had these nightly ejaculations at a very early age (I was around 10, 11 years old). It made me feel bold and indestructable.
I also always dreamed (and wished for) a father that would take me along on adventures, that initiated me into manhood. By talking to me, hugging me, tapping my head and shoulders. Taking me on trips and hikes. While I craved this contact in real life, at least in my dreams I was able to experience some of it.
We men vibrate on another energetic level than women. Sometimes I needed a men’s hug because my energy required it. This energy I missed a lot while growing up.
In high school, I got this group of male friends. At first, I didn’t know how to connect with them. So I hid behind humor. I was the group’s clown. I made everyone laugh. Later I was able to put down some of my masks so I could feel how to relate to them. Also there dreaming helped me encounter these things already before I had to do it in real life.
When I was a child, but also as an adolescent and even partially as an adult, I used to dream about a little girl. She was a bit chubby, with a lovely, endearing face and short, brown hair. She came lots and lots of times into my dreams. Her head was always tilted to one side, she never talked nor smiled, just stood there observing me with these dark eyes in which I saw an ocean of unconditional love. She often just held my hand or put her tiny fingers against my cheek. She never spoke a single word, but she always felt very VERY present. Her companionship always gave me a sense of home, of safety. I remember I even sometimes longed for her during day time. She felt like the beacon I so desperately needed when growing up, and which I could not be for myself.
When I was growing up, she stayed her small little self, physically that is. Because I always had the feeling that her soul grew older alongside me. When I matured she didn’t visit me as much anymore, but everytime I needed to come home within myself, to feel safe, to be somehow nurtured, she showed her sweet little face with these warm, hazel eyes. She turned out to be very punctual and faithful.
And then, in my 43d year on this earth, I met my biggest love online, in a Facebook group for crying out loud (who would’ve thought that?) Before I actually met her in real life, I had an erotic dream. I was making out with her in nature, under a beautiful tree. Even though I was incredibly turned on (we had passionate, animalistic sex under a tree) it felt more like a dream within the actual dream. Otherworldly. Mysterious. Spellbinding and almost clairvoyant. We were together in a non-sensorial place, almost like we were inside each others consciousness, a closeness that real life with its real bodies could never match. I felt her heart in my chest, and mine beating in hers.
The little brownhaired girl with the love filled eyes disappeared since that sexual dream out of my life and I never have encountered her again. At least not in any of my reveries.
She popped up again a couple of months after I met my big Love in real life. Not, what I already mentioned before, in a dream, but on a picture. On a picture in the childhood photo album of my sweetheart.
This beautiful Swiss gipsy woman I loved so abundantly, turned out to be the girl from my dreams! I already was connected to her since my infancy. I always had been dreaming about a relationship with a woman with whom I could melt together, without losing my identity. Still standing firm in my own beliefs, but on a love level, we would become one. And there she was, lying in my arms, born out of the little imaginary friend of my nightly imaginations. It was exactly in that moment that I became aware of the immense power of dreaming.
While thinking back about all these dreams, I came to the realization that they had partially saved my life. Without many of these fantasies, I wouldn’t have been able to deal with lots of struggles. The power of these dreams was so vivid and potent that it became some sort of life savior for me, a lifeline where I could hold on to, whenever I had the feeling I could not cope with certain day to day situations. I also realized I had many times dreamed my way into major life decisions. The decision to apply for the Art Academy when I was 17, originated in one of my dreams. My wish to go to Israel for a year to organize theatre projects in a Palestinian refugee camp, emerged out of a dream.
If you dwell on a problem while you’re awake, your unconscious mind notices that it must be important to you and continues to work on it while you’re asleep. We also know that unconscious decision-making, especially when it involves many factors, is more effective, because we can tap from more resources in our dream world. Unconsciously, we can deal with more information at once, where consciously we are limited.
So, with this information in the back of my head, I kept on dreaming, even when my teachers yelled at me, even when my father said I had to wake up, even when my classmates made fun of me. I HAD to dream. And I still do. It makes me into the man I am now. It makes me feel big and vibrant, alive. It helped and still helps me get through hard labors in life. It makes me feel grounded, creative, buzzing.
So, therefore, I want to pay tribute to the power of dreaming.
Dreaming is not a half-baked escape from real life, it is not an exodus for pussies, it is not a ferocious flight from the things we don’t want to deal with.
Dreaming is exploring our lives without limitations.
Dreaming opens up new possibilities.
Dreaming awakens our sleepy souls.
Pursuing a dream can be a gateway to living an extraordinary life.
Pursuing a dream is a way to experience total joy, fulfillment, and aliveness.
Pursuing a dream is a way to live life full out, with no regrets.
Let’s all get acquainted with the beauty of dreaming! Lets all dive in head first and swim in the powerful currents of creation! You will enrich yourself so much with these abilities to create and manifest!
So please, close your eyes. Close your eyes and open your heart.
Have a pleasant journey!
Written by: Bas Waijers
Image by: Tyson Dudley (via unsplash.com)